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3 key mindset and behavior shifts to make if you want say "no" successfully as a leader

Learning how to say “no” to your team is one of the most challenging, but crucial skills to develop as a leader. There is a fine line between providing your staff with the resources they need to perform their work and becoming the bottleneck that stops them from getting anything done. The key to getting this right is to focus on turning that “no” into a redirection rather than a rejection – but what does this look like in practice?

From Problem-Solver to Coach: Embracing the Right Mindset

The first pivotal shift in learning how to say no is to transition from being the immediate solver of your team’s problems to acting as a coach for your team. This mindset involves guiding your staff to answers rather than providing them outright. When approached with a question, your “no” basically turns into asking them a question in return, such as “What have you tried so far?” or “Where do you think you could find that information?”

This approach encourages your staff to think critically and take initiative, fostering a sense of ownership and independence (which is the ultimate driver of motivation). As a leader, you must embrace the role of a facilitator of growth, focusing on helping your team develop their problem-solving skills rather than just obtaining the “right” outcomes of those problems.

Promote Initiative and Effort Over Immediate Answers

Another key element of learning how to say no is to set expectations with your staff that effectively discourages them from approaching you in the first place. The way this works is by making it clear to your employees that going forward, you are looking to reward them for taking initiative rather than getting to the “right” answer as quickly as possible. This shift in values requires recognizing and celebrating the effort your team members put into solving problems independently.

Fostering a Safe Space for Autonomy and Learning from Failure

The third shift in learning how to say no involves creating an environment where autonomy is encouraged, and failure is not just tolerated but seen as a crucial part of the learning process. You must communicate openly about the importance of taking risks and making mistakes – and that getting a “no” isn’t final; it’s just a starting point for them to explore other options. This mindset shift is about understanding that by empowering your staff to make decisions and take action independently, there will be failures, but that these are opportunities for growth and learning.

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Things I found helpful this week:

• This LinkedIn post by Roberto Ferraro that provides an incredible list of transformative questions that will help promote your personal and professional growth.
• This video of George Clooney sharing why success is a lousy teacher and how you learn more from failure than achievement.
• This quote: "A 'no' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'yes' uttered merely to please - or worse; to avoid trouble." - Mahatma Gandhi

I hope you found something helpful or insightful here - please reply back and let me know what topics you’d like me to cover in future issues. See you next Thursday!

-Anais

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P.S.S. In case you didn't catch my LinkedIn post, I am officially a Personal and Professional Growth Coach at Boon! If you work for an organization and believe your fellow colleagues could benefit from having coaching services offered, just reply back to this email and I'd be happy to share more.

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